Um hello there, this is Cassidy Boon, feminist, social justice warrior and bad ass bitch. Now the elections are over and many of you might be shocked that I actually, like, support Trump. Like, because Trump is totally DADDY! I mean wow, like there’s never been a politician that made me tingle SOOO much. And so what if his hands are small, as long as his feet are big, know what I mean?
Like he’s totally a rich businessman and even though he’s totally a white male, I’d totally let him take me out on like a fancy dinner at the Trump Tower, cuz I totally deserve it and I wanna wear pearls. And like, I know many of my fans are thinking like, ”but Cassidy, Trump has said all these horrible things about women, how can you like love him so much?”. Yeah, well, like, he’s totally hot and when a guy who’s really hot is kind of sexist it’s actually kind of hot or whatever. Like his, skin, his hair, he’s a total dream boat and I wouldn’t mind him to build a real estate empire inside of me.
So please Donald. I want you to send me a load. A trump load. A load of Trump juice. Doesn’t matter if it’s in a jar or a test tube or an envelope, as long as I get that precious nectar. I really want a baby, I’ve wanted one ever since survived the #SaveRape, but my boyfriend is kind of a loser and faaaar from a hot billionaire president, so I thougt like, why not have a Trump-baby? My boyfriend works at Olive Garden, and like, he doesn’t have to know that I’ll have your baby instead of his. And like it’s not cheating having your baby because, like, it will only be better for the both of us if we get a strong little business-minded Trump baby. And like, why would want his Olive Garden load? YUCK! My womb deserve better. Gimmie a trump load!
So even though I’m a feminist and believe in women’s rights more than anything, I can’t like, get away from the fact that Trump is like totally hot. I want to have his baby. Now. So please, spread this video to as many people as possible! Make sure Donald gets this! Tweet under the hashtag #TrumpLoad4Boon. But please make sure my boyfriend doesn’t see the video, cuz like, even though it’s not cheating.
Donald, I wanna be your Monica.